Okay. I just did a Google search for some information about how to do a better job of getting more solid food into Hudson without compromising my breast milk supply. The first link was to an on-line forum of moms who are members that league with the Spanish word for milk. (I don't want this post to be a link--see?) So, these ladies have given me some useful information in the past, and some not so useful. But generally, I have respect for an organization that promotes breastfeeding and I think it's good that so many of our generation are doing it even though our own mothers weren't encouraged to. For the record, I had a REALLY hard time with it the first time, but kept it up until Harper weaned herself at around 10 months (which is when I got pregnant with Hudson). It was lots of work (pumping 4-5 times a day. mooooo) and painful for probably 5 months. I supplemented with formula when even the pumping didn't suffice. Bottles and pump parts to wash all day long. It just wasn't fun. This time, thankfully, it is blissfully easy. So I'm planning to keep doing it. I don't have a cut-off date in mind. I assume we'll figure it out when the time is right to stop. So, back to the triple-L forum. I did get some helpful tips on when I should be giving the sweet potatoes and spinach. What I also got was this quote: "Routines are for dancers, schedules are for trains," and mothers who closed each post with descriptors like this: "co-sleeping, cloth-diapering, baby-wearing, attachment parenting..." and the list went on. There were even cute little icons that showed Mommy putting cloth diapers in the washing machine and wearing her BF toddler in a sling. There was even an icon of a little bed with Mommy and Daddy on each side and a little baby head in the middle. I could figure out what BF meant, but there were lots of other acronyms that I couldn't. So. I was reminded of an interview I saw on the Today show probably 2 years ago. This mother and her baby had been in a car accident in which a huge truck had driven off an overpass and landed on their car and they'd escaped without injury. Pretty miraculous. Matt Lauer asked the mom, "How are you? How is the baby?" and her response, no kidding: "She's great! She's 6 months old and 100% breastfed!" You could tell he didn't know quite how to respond. Sooo...she has superpowers as a result? would've probably been my reaction. Anyway, it's idolatry, plain and simple. We take good things but we base our entire identity around them. We put our faith in them, find our purpose in them, take undue pride in them. It's everywhere, by the way. This is just the place where it was glaring today. Pick a subject--homeschooling, eating organic, theology, patriotism, the environment, politics--and you'll find people worshiping. I do it too. This concludes my most strident post to date. Hudson just woke up. I wish I had an icon that showed me grimacing as I put his disposable diaper in the Diaper Genie.
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5 comments:
When I began reading your post I thought, "Oh no, another emphatic breastfeeder." Then, "Would she think less of me if she knew I weaned my first by 7.5 mos and my second (never took to BF - ah, that's what BF stands for - and therefore developed jaundice by the end of her first week and never, ever liked it even after I pulled an all -nighter and taught her at 9 weeks) by 3 mos?"
I've found what you did, and that's the craziness of the crazes to BF, feed your child organic, use cloth diapers, and what have you. And this is where age (and wisdom, surely) play a worthwhile role: To remind me of the decades of crazes and "must do's" (does anyone remember mellorine?), all of which distract from the bigger picture of raising resilient, responsible people who are capable of raising the next generation of resilient and responsible people.
I say to myself, "I will not live in a culture of fear." But I will if I choose to follow every new and improved method of feeding, clothing, and protecting my children as prescribed by "they say." I work on choosing to follow God and remind myself not to fear, for He knows the number of all our days.
Another excellent comment, dear Margie! Resilient and responsible--now that's a banner I'd wave. You might also be interested that after almost 2 weeks of no accidents, Harper's had I think 6 in the past 3 days! I'm not sure what's going on but we're muddling through. I haven't been very patient.
I just googled mellorine, and sincerely wished I hadn't. It sounds like frozen steak fat, only sweet.
Okay. All day today I have regretted my tirade, written when I was tir-ed, too tired to make any sense (I mean admittedly, it went on too long and I was drooping while typing). But you did, Patti, spark a strong feeling I have about an aspect of motherhood and it's this: Too many mothers bring a competitive edge to the job and say while not saying, "Only if you do everything 'right' are you a good mother." And then follow it up with, "So let me show you the ways I'M a GOOD MOTHER."
Which brings me to mellorine. Back in the day when Tab was the only diet drink and those who drank it were viewed with curiosity and a little suspicion, at the cusp of awareness about diet and exercise, came mellorine. It was touted as "Better for you than ice cream." So, my mother says, everyone bought it because it was the BEST THING for the family. Really. My grandmother wanted to but my grandfather (Paw-Paw), a former dairy man, wouldn't let her. He wouldn't touch the stuff. So she resigned herself to the fact that at any moment he might die of a heart attack because he ate ice cream.
Funny, yes. But not off-target from the seriousness all of us lay on diet, exercise and Doing Everything Right. That's not to say it's wrong, but it is if it's idol worship, as you said. It's wrong if you base your entire scheme of self-relevance around it.
And that's what I was raving about last night. I'm trying to find the balance between what my real and not-so-real concerns about raising children (and caring for husband) should be.
And finally, we had another glorious day at the park today - I thought of you! - and ran into another mother whose daughter, 6 mos younger than Elizabeth, is still in diapers. I said, "I see Mia's still in diapers, too!" Her reply? (Keeping in mind that Mia is her FOURTH child) "Oh yes, I'm not ready for that. It's so much easier to keep them in diapers until they're older. I don't want to spend all my time taking her to the potty." I laughed and gave myself permission to keep up this lazy role a little bit longer.
I feel certain that if we get more kids, I'll delay potty training Hudson until he's around 5 because it is so high maintenance at first. It is inevitable that Harper needs potty help when I'm busy doing something else with Hudson--perhaps that's intentional on her part. I'm also debating whether or not to put her in a diaper for the almost 2 hour drive to my parents' tomorrow. I really do not want to have to pull over on Interstate 10 so she can use her suitcase potty. I think I might also write a post about how useless pull-ups have been for us. Thanks for your insightful comments. I look forward to them.
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