I'll never be royal.

A few years ago I bought some cookie cutters at Williams- Sonoma. They were shaped liked characters from "Cars 2" and Hudson saw them and that was all he wanted for his birthday, these wondrous cookies that looked exactly like Francesco and Finn McMissile and Lightning and Mater. So I followed the recipe on the box and rolled out the dough and maybe I actually let the kids help which made everything last so much longer, and also I am sure they have no memory of it. (jewel in my crown, right?) Then I followed the recipe for royal icing and tried to make the cookies look just like the ones on the Williams-Sonoma box. HAH. HAH. It was an unmitigated disaster. They looked like "Cars 2" characters who had dared open the Ark of the Covenant in "Raiders of the Lost Ark." The kids ate them anyway and were sweet about it and said they were perfect. But it became like a vision quest for me. I discovered there is an entire world of royal icing mastery. I read blogs. I read recipes. I shuddered at the amount of food coloring involved. But then I saw things like this wondrous magnificence:It's the Twelve Days of Christmas!! With royal icing!! Inspirational? Yes! Debilitating? Certainly.
But, every few months, I try it again.

 I make the dough, I roll out the cookies. I get out my can of meringue powder. I decide I can't in good conscience use the amounts of food coloring necessary to make ladybugs or strawberries or shamrocks. I contemplate using beets or spinach instead. I reject that idea. I decide to give up when the dough sticks to the rolling pin and also the wax paper. I decide to give up again when I can't get the icing the right texture even though I watch youtube videos and read the Pioneer Woman's tutorial AGAIN.  I decide to throw everything in the TRASH when the flood icing floods all over the squeeze bottle instead of inside of it. In my head I am thinking about how I am spending all this time on something it will take about 5 seconds to eat. I think of those Buddhist monks and their sand art. I usually growl at the kids somewhere in here. Sometimes I let them ice a few of their own cookies and I am a little jealous that they just slop it on there, sling on some sprinkles, and declare it a  masterpiece.

I think I've made five attempts now, and each time I have declared THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE LAST TIME I AM DOING THIS. ENOUGH. And then I get complacent and something comes up and it seems like the perfect occasion for a cute little homemade daisy cookie, and I succumb. I guess each effort gets a little better; a little less like those "Nailed It!" pinterest fails. I made these yesterday to give to our tutors who have worked so hard to help my kids learn their memory work for Classical Conversations. (My flood icing kept overflowing its boundary. Which made me feel solidarity with the Army Corps of Engineers.)

Monday's child has blood on face, part 2

Historically, any time there has been a Major Blog Lapse it has been for Reasons Technological. Let's just blame it on that and not my General Malaise and Inability to Get Things Accomplished in a Timely Manner.

I have a computer now that will do what the ipad simply refused to do, which is let me post pictures in blogger. So the previous post will now show you the snake in all its glory, AND I can show you this treasure, taken this very night:

Hudson has had a wiggly snaggle tooth on the top for at least 3 weeks now. Every few days, the husband would give it a wiggle and deem it "not quite ready." However, we needed to exercise some caution because the last tooth that was wiggly got SWALLOWED. Hudson was eating some naan with hummus for lunch one day and he said, "Mommy. My hummus got crunchy for a minute, and now my tooth is just gone." (it is okay if this makes you feel queasy. Me too.) Anyway, the Daddy had to draft an elaborate legal document Explaining Things to the Tooth Fairy. The Tooth Fairy responded (imprudently, in hindsight) that she could let the swallowed tooth slide JUST THIS ONE TIME. Which is why, I suppose, Hudson insisted tonight that the Daddy yank the tooth, even though it clearly was not quite ready to leave its spot. Which reminds me that the Tooth Fairy needs to go rustle up a dollar before she goes to bed.

I woke up to what can only be deemed a minor Resurrection Miracle yesterday morning. I made some hot cross buns (which were actually just some Bisquick with raisins thrown in and some icing on top because I overslept and didn't have time for yeast etc.) and this put everyone in a great mood. Harper was feeling so charitable that not only did she help Helena get dressed while I took a shower, but for the first time EVER in the five years since Helena has been alive, she condescended to MATCHING DRESSES. Behold:

 It was all Helena had dreamed it might be, and more. At this point in the day, it is clear that Harper's magnanimity has reached its peak. Incidentally, The B's gave us these lovely dresses several years ago and I noticed Helena's is a size 24 months and Harper's is a size 5T. It has been a LONG time coming.

And here we are, smiling about Jesus setting the world free. You might also notice that we are standing in a little patch of bluebonnets, which are, of course, the state flower of Texas. So our thanks also go out to those Texans who set Texas free from Mexico on this day in 1820.

 

 

 

Now that I have no excuses, the posting is going to be more frequent. I promise.