Wow. It is 1:45 pm and we have managed to cram lots of living into this day. We started off with a major, very noisy explosion of Math Angst. There was weeping and wailing, a bit of self flagellation (metaphorical) and then I started laughing. I think I have mentioned this disorder I have that causes me to smile and laugh at totally inappropriate moments. It is most unwelcome, and never ceases to escalate an already FRAUGHT moment.
We did finally manage to neutralize the situation (with the help of Daddy on the phone) and things quieted down. Next, a large spider was reported in Helena's room, underneath a tutu. Then, while Helena and I were in the middle of her reading lesson, Hudson was doing some sort of joy celebration upon discovering I bought yogurt yesterday (ah, the simple pleasure of flavored Greek yogurt) and he flipped himself over a chair and face planted on the large djembe we have in our living room. There was an impressive amount of blood (though not, thankfully, on the borrowed and very expensive djembe) which caused Bleeding Angst. There was weeping and wailing, and then I started laughing. Again. (Why yes, I do think my children will be emotionally scarred by this behavior.) I managed to stop laughing, we got the bleeding stopped, then Hudson sat in my lap for a nice long while until he finally decided that maybe he might be able to eat some blueberry yogurt. Helena then stated that she wished she had a bloody lip so she could sit in my lap.
A few minutes later, I was trying to get some clothes folded, and this announcement: "MOMMY!! A SNAKE!! ON THE PATIO!! "(Davene, you might want to stop reading for a minute) and I went outside to find all three kids hunched over this:
There were ecstatic utterances of "can we keep him?" and "Let's go buy him a cage this minute!" And not a single question of "might he be poisonous?" I told them to stand back, and went inside to consult Google. Only my iPad wouldn't work. Of course not. So, again, I called the husband and he disregards Occam's Razor, Herpetology Edition (think ribbon snake, not rattler) and immediately assumes this must be a baby rattlesnake, or possibly a water moccasin, or maybe even a copperhead. I am not particularly frightened around snakes, which I concede is ridiculous considering the completely irrational fear I have of roaches. I thought it was endearing how he seemed to be using the hose as a sort of surrogate mommy. Anyway, I managed to put a plastic cover over it, came inside to restart the iPad, and finally ascertained that we probably have a common Texas Brown Snake, approximately 10 inches long.
6 comments:
Oh, my. What a day! But you've managed to turn it into a hilarious post. Thanks for making me laugh.
THANK YOU for the warning!! The funny thing is that the picture didn't load for me so I don't have to face that being imprinted in my brain. God is good!! :)
You are an amazingly brave woman to be so strong when it comes to snakes. But why so afraid of roaches? They can't hurt anyone, can they? Unless you grow poisonous roaches down in Texas? ;-)
I love your take on life, and I'm with you on the laugh-at-inappropriate-moments thing. The first time I remember having a serious problem with that was during the funeral of my great-grandmother. I'm not sure how old I was, but I do remember sitting on that hard pew in that little country church, and my shoes (black patent leather, I'm sure) were so slippery that I couldn't hold my feet in proper position on the floor (which, in my memory, was slightly slanted - could it be so?); my feet kept sliding forward. One of my brothers was sitting beside me, and for some reason I just wanted to giggle. I haven't thought about that memory for a LONG time, but your post brought that back to me. Thanks! :)
Oh dear. This made me laugh. The title is hilarious (if blood can be called that!). And I'm so impressed that you have a djembe - how fun (and impressed with myself for actually knowing what that is, ha). The snake picture didn't load for me either - but I feel the same about snakes vs roaches. Give me a snake any day. :) Hopefully you've dealt with all the catastrophes for the week in just one day, and the rest of the week will be smooth sailing.
The pictures are vexing me! I paste them, they appear, then they disappear after a little while. My old computer finally died, and the iPad program I tried to use stopped working. So, I will try, try again...
Also, it is not that the roaches are poisonous, it is that they are so VILE. I can't explain it. I don't love snakes, but there was something in the way the snake reacted to us that made it seem less vile to me. Especially once I discovered it was harmless. Roaches are notorious disease spreaders and also they have been known to fly AT MY FACE IN THE SHOWER THAT ONE TIME. I simply cannot abide such horror.
I'm with Davene on this: I HATE snakes - even pictures of them. Your picture (granted, this is an old post) loaded just fine and I shuddered and wondered how you could even GO ON. I wish I laughed like you. Instead I scowl, sigh, and generally look miserable when life doesn't go as planned. Which, as you know, is every. day.
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