Hudson has gotten into the habit of asking really big, important questions when we are in the car. Today, after seeing the huge picture of a pregnant lady on the outside of the huge, almost finished maternity hospital we pass on our way to the museums, he asked, "But HOW does the baby GET inside the Mommy? Does God do it?" I told him yes, that in a sense he does. Then Helena said something about Mary, because anytime we are talking about God or Jesus, she mentions Mary. Yesterday, he asked what I thought was a pretty insightful question about the nature of the trinity (should that be capitalized?)and I gave him a pretty basic answer about the three-in-one (and Helena piped in "and MARY!" and I said "No, not really."), and then I added, "It's like our Latin: In principio erat verbum!" (handy, that) and told him that big, important questions deserved a Mommy who wasn't trying to navigate traffic. But really I am SCARED to answer all of these questions and I secretly hope he will forget that he asked.
I like to try to think like a novelist (because I would someday like very much to write like a novelist) and a series of events this week fell nicely into a little cause and effect plot:
1. Last Tuesday, I decided to take all three kids to the post office at 4:45 pm. I would NEVER do this under normal circumstances, but I had some clothes to send to a growing baby, and I realized any further delay might mean the baby was matriculating from high school before I got the size 6 months onesies in the mail.
2. The line was LONG, the postal workers methodical. It took 35 minutes.
3. The kids did fairly well. Harper noticed that one of the ladies who was waiting in line in front of us had Cafe Express on her shirt. She pointed and said, loudly, "LOOK MOMMY! CAFE EXPRESS!" because there is a Cafe Express nearby and the husband will, on occasion, pick up food from there on his way home. The lady smiled at her and left.
4. About a minute later, she was back. She had gone out to her car and gotten four coupons for free meals at Cafe Express. She gave them to Harper.
5. Saturday afternoon we went to a birthday party. On the way home we decided we would go eat at PF Changs, then we got there and it was going to be a 45 minute wait. We left and I remembered the coupons.
6. So we went to Cafe Express and made a big deal about Harper buying our entire dinner ($38 dollars worth!!) She was very pleased.
7. When we came out and got in the van, the husband noticed something in the rearview mirror. "Did you draw a picture on the back window?" I said I had not. He got out to investigate what I could see was a rather cute little animated boy someone had used their finger to draw. He got in, a grim expression on his face. "Does it say something bad?" I whispered. YES, he said emphatically, "It says WASH ME." Now, you should understand that WASH ME written on his car is probably worse for the husband than profanity. Until he married me, his car was always immaculate. So, we had a chat about how I might work a car wash into my weekly errands. I was resistant.
8. But I realized that I complain that certain things just aren't POSSIBLE WITH THREE SMALL CHILDREN way more than I actually just problem solve and get things done. So, after yet another trip to the post office (to buy a few more 20 cent stamps for my square Christmas cards, which is a whole entire different and frustrating tale) with three kids, we went to the $4 car wash that includes a free vacuum token. Then it started to sprinkle. Then Helena really wanted to lose all control of her emotions when the big brushes started buffeting the van, but we all worked together to reassure her that we weren't being assaulted by a maniac Sesame Street character. Just as we pulled around to the vacuums, it started to rain a little harder. Then, just as I put the token in for the vacuum, Hudson told me he needed to urinate. I ignored him and vacuumed. Helena said, "It's VERY LOUD. VERY VERY LOUD." repeatedly. Hudson got out of his car seat and began to do a little dance with a tortured look on his face. I hung the vacuum up and dug around until I found a gallon ziploc bag. He almost filled the thing up, which made me concerned for the health of his excretory system. Then I took the bag. Then, as little boys sometimes do, he wasn't quite finished with the marathon pee, and sprinkled some on my just-vacuumed carpet. Then he said, "THAT was a LOT of t.t. for a boy who's very small!" and I smiled and we drove to the library to turn in some books.
I'll be back on Friday in order to commemorate a certain very small boy who is turning FIVE.
5 comments:
The highlight of our week is wacky Wednesday at Gurdy's Car Wash where all washes are 50% off. And now I go to get complimented by the tattooed Latino gentleman who appreciates it when a lady looks nice and rewards her with a free tire wash. What I Wore Wednesday indeed.
Square cards always seem to be cuter than regular cards. Is it the shape that makes them cute or is it a possible conspiracy between the USPS and greeting card companies?
I avoid going to the post office with one kid (or even without him) if at all possible.
Jamie--I've always thought people with tattoos have a heightened sense of the aesthetic. I'll take note of your immaculate tires next I see you.
Robin--I think it's weird that the square, which is, mathematically speaking, the most regular of the shapes, is counted odd by the USPS. It makes me want to vote for Ron Paul. I feel like he would share my indignation.
The gallon ziploc bag part made me laugh. We keep a potty chair in the back of our car and I always feel a little smug as if I'm outsmarting their frequent need to 'go' and my aversion to taking them in public restrooms. But a ziploc bag! I see I have a lot to learn as a mother of a boy.
Zoe--the potty we keep in the car uses a gallon ziploc. I just skipped the potty part. It IS easier with boys. Except for the Dribble Factor, of course.
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