So, Barbie dolls. I had an interesting conversation with a friend whose daughters love Barbies. Her older daughter asked me a few months ago why I won't let Harper have Barbies. I told her, honestly, that we don't have a specific prohibition against Barbies, but that we actually don't have any Barbies because Harper has never asked for one. If she or Helena ever DO ask, I'll probably direct them to dolls that look more like human children. Like my dolls from childhood, Mandy and Jenny, who Helena loves, and Harper likes on occasion:
As you can see, their wild hair is also something my kids can directly relate to. Incidentally, we received an American Girl doll catalog in the mail a few weeks ago and all three kids spent an inordinate amount of time studying it and finding many things they would very much like to have. Harper especially liked the American Girl that had her own horse (sold separately) and the American Girl that had a pet dog (sold separately). I think the American Girl dolls are adorable, but I probably can't ever, in good conscience, BUY one because they are approximately ONE MILLION DOLLARS apiece, as are their animal companions. Plus, it might hurt Mandy and Jenny's feelings.
So, I don't know that I believe all the hype about Barbie giving young girls an unhealthy attitude about their own bodies. I played with Barbies and I don't remember ever thinking I was supposed to look like them. Though my friend Carrie and I did alter, shall we say, some of her Barbies one time (Carrie--do you remember this??) to make them less buxom. Though I think that might have been more about enjoying the act of destruction and less a sign of some sort of rebellion against a body ideal we could never hope to personally attain. But who knows?
Here is what I know. My philosophy with toys is pretty much my general philosophy regarding the whole of life. I ask myself, "Is this the best thing for my family?" I guess if I had to dissect the Barbie thing, I would prefer my kids have toys that encourage imaginative play that is child-like, not adult-like (though Hudson does get to play with toy guns and knives--this is a possible contradiction. I'll let the husband defend that one. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to explain his reasons). It's why we don't read certain books yet. It's why we don't watch most television shows or movies. I just want them to be able to be little kids for a good, long while. I want to be able to inculcate a right standard of beauty that isn't predicated on a fancy ballgown or golden hair cascading down to a teeny tiny waist. Which is, I realize, easy to say when I happen to have daughters who have never begged, much less asked for, a Barbie. It's always easy to be steadfast when you haven't been tested.
We also have some things I think are probably neutral (but others might disagree). If they really want a toy that may not qualify as "best" (Squinkies, anyone? "Cars" characters that are 4 times as much as Matchbox cars) I'll let them have it (especially if they are spending their own money) as long as my only reasons are things like, "Well, I think those are silly and cheaply made of possibly toxic materials.." or, "You realize you are responding exactly as those evil marketing geniuses at Disney/Pixar have programmed you to respond by insisting that you MUST have the slightly altered Lightning McQueen that appears in 'Cars 2'??" Maybe those are moral issues too, and I should probably think more deeply about them. And perhaps I will.
4 comments:
I understand the disgust with exorbitant prices of things. I also get annoyed with Disney marketing schemes. I figure there's a budget and as long as the gift fits in it, so be it. As long as it's not a stripper Bratz doll, if they want to waste their gift on an extra lightning bolt rather than something entirely different, that's their waste of a present. Abby, the one who loves the dolls mentioned in the email, has an insatiable appetite. Her grandmas buy her one gift instead of a few little ones. If that's what she most wants, as least American Girl dolls (or other high end 17" dolls) are better roll models than Barbie (both of whom she loves). The cost makes me feel guilty, but the money's gonna be spent by Grandma one way or another, so why not get what she most enjoys? Perhaps it's teaching materialism, but she is happy with stuff off ebay or from other companies, too. She doesn't have to have AG tags on it, they just have so much neat stuff at the store. For her birthday she received three gift certificates totalling $100. She could've gotten several outfits, movies, or a great accessory, but chose ANOTHER doll. Surely she's learning something about money in all that...Perhaps I'm justifying.
Maybe we could persuade the American Girl company to embrace the Tom's shoes philosophy: Every time a rich first worlder (we are ALL the 1 %) buys an American Girl doll, they donate another one to a little girl in a third world country.
Do you want to pitch it, or shall I??
Hmmm...I'll put that with my other list of intentions.
One thing I can say about American Girl that I can't say of Barbie or Disney, they are American products, rather than made in China. So, I don't feel as guilty when my parents buy American made clothes or gifts that are pricey, but not made in a sweatshop or the like. Similar to my eating my favorite chocolate snack (Milk Duds) while feeling guilty about the enslaved African youth harvesting my beans, or deciding to spend an arm and a leg on Fair Trade or Newman’s chocolate bars and not feeling the guilt or endorsing slavery - but I really miss the chewy caramel when I take the high road.
There are so many contradictory arguments swimming in my head at all times that it might be as loud in mine as in yours.
We have receive Barbies as birthday presents, but they are rarely played with, a fact that makes me happy. The real winners are the cake topper plastic princesses we've accumulated over the years. (This fall Rapunzel was added to the mix.) But generally (and unlike me), my girls don't play with dolls. They prefer stuffed animals. So while they might ask for an AG doll, I don't take them seriously because they don't show a penchant for it.
We are TV watchers (I married one, to my surprise - this, too, isn't a joke) (wait, let me clarify: I am not a TV watcher; the other 3 are), but we've strictly denied any commercial watching! So that's our control. Only PBS or NickJr, and anything else (like family nights of America's Funniest Videos - please don't faint) are all pre-recorded. So the girls are still interested in the sweet shows like Dino Dan or even Max and Ruby and WonderPets, while I think most of their age group have left that behind.
Interestingly, I've noticed that as they've gotten older they've asked for TV less often, their attention drawn to other things. They'll even turn off the TV on their own (nice for me), and move along. I'm glad to be seeing that happen.
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