Hudson has been seven for almost one month.

I don't have a good excuse. Let us just resume as normal.
We've had some impressive goings on here. Hudson has lost two entire teeth (his first). and he turned SEVEN.He was seven MONTHS old when I started the blog, and he is now seven entire YEARS old. I have yet to do his birthday interview, but here are a couple of sample conversations I have had with him recently:

(On our way from dropping Harper off at a birthday party held at a place named Sweet and Sassy, wherein the little girls get their nails painted and their hair braided and sprayed with glitter hairspray. Not, incidentally, Harper's preferred environs, as you might imagine. She put on a brave, lipglossed face because she loves the birthday girl.)

Hudson: "Why is that place called "Sweet and Sassy"? What does "sassy" even mean?"
Me: "Well, I think it means kind of cute and energetic and spunky?"
Hudson: "What if they had named it "Sweet and Zombie Apocalypse"?"
Me: "I think that would service an entirely different demographic."
Hudson: "I would have my party there."

Then today on our way home from our co-op, this:

Hudson: "Did slaves get paid?"
Me: "No, that is essentially what slavery is: being forced to work for no pay."
Hudson: "But did they ever ENJOY cooking?"
Me: "Well, even if they enjoyed their work, they still wanted to be paid a fair wage for what they were doing. Incidentally, slavery is not, unfortunately, just in the past. but we can talk about that more later."
(Fairly long silence) then
Hudson: "So, you cook for us every day. And you don't get paid. Are you a slave?"

I was fairly impressed that he was generous enough to consider  the food preparation that I do "cooking." Also I wondered if he is too young to see "Twelve Years a Slave." Then I realize that I am likely too young to see " Twelve Years a Slave" considering I still have not fully recovered from watching Ferris Bueller whip Denzel Washington in "Glory" which I saw circa 1990.

Anyway, he is a delight, that boy. He is slow as a tortoise if I want him to hurry. He is extremely fast when he is running or zipping around on his bike and scooter. He wishes he never had to brush his teeth. He loves Mustangs very much and he lobs questions like, "Okay, which one is faster, a Mustang Shelby Cobra GT500, or a Lamborghini?" at me several times during every single car ride. I usually answer, "I don't know, but that would be a fun race to watch!" To which he responds, "I need you to look that up for me on your iPad the minute we get home. I want a real answer." I am back on the blog wagon now. More to come.

Saddest story ever told.

Just now I was washing Helena's hair and she declared that she is very funny because she tells very funny stories. And thus she commenced:

"Once upon a time there was a very, very, VERY old lady. Her name was Mommy! Patti Mommy."

No thank you. I would like another story.

Today, she and Hudson were playing with Matchbox cars while Harper and I did some multiplication (!),  and Helena was starting their race: "On your MARKERS, get your STICKERS......GO!"  I noticed that Hudson did not adopt her crafty variation when it was his turn to start.

We had a great Thanksgiving, hosted by the Grandparents Pate. I have never had to roast a turkey, and I hope that continues for a very long time.  I got to see my childhood friends Carrie and Sharon, and that was a delight. We have a rich history together that includes, but is not limited to, starring in the Port Arthur Little Theatre production of "The Wizard of Oz" in 1982 ("starring" might be a bit of a stretch. We were Winged Monkeys and also Jitterbugs), and also breaking through the popularity barrier by making the freshman cheerleading squad (Go Warriors!) in 1983. Old friends ARE gold, just like we used to sing in Bluebirds.

On Monday the kids and I got busy making some Jesse Tree ornaments with clay. I copied the designs from this blog. The good news is that Harper is a very capable artist now and was actually helpful. We got eight done today, so we could start Monday night (technically a few days late. Welcome to our home.)(Harper's version of Central America would have made the guys who dug the Panama Canal weep, but I decided to let it slide.)  Anyway the making of the ornaments went great, then I went into the attic to get out the little Christmas tree so we had something on which to hang them.  The dog followed me into the attic and managed to jump off the wood deck thing out into the insulation fluff. She was buried and flailing until I noticed, shrieked, and and managed to rescue her. Then I figured I probably ought to bathe her, because I think that fluffy insulation is actually made of fiberglass, and I surmised  that might be bad for dogs generally, and also for us since she sleeps IN our bed. After she was bathed, I told the kids what had transpired, and Harper said, "She probably just thought it looked like a nice soft cloudish place to curl up and take a nap," and she was right. That is Sasha's modus operandi: to curl up in a cloudish place and take a nice nap.

This morning,  we started off at the park, then the temperature dropped around 20 degrees, and we removed to the S's house, where we spent a very happy afternoon.

Then tonight, the husband was working late so we ate some popcorn, set up the rabbit ears, and watched some of "The Sound of Music" on the television. We sorely missed the marionettes, and I sent them to bed before the Nazis showed up, but it was a fun little diversion. Amen.
 

Don't poke a (dead) skunk, and other truths we hold to be self evident

We walked down to the park by the pool last Saturday while enjoying a visit from Grandmother M, and Helena announced that there was a HOLE! Under the boulder! And I did the "um hm, a hole, how interesting," because I was watching to make sure Hudson didn't crack every last vertebrae as he leapt from the other boulder that is at least 8 feet high, and also trying to keep the dog from strangling herself in her leash. Then Harper went over to investigate the hole and there was some mumbling and then, "Mommy, there is something ALIVE or maybe DEAD in the hole!" I went over to investigate and there was a distinct fluff of white and black hair sticking out from under the boulder. "Well, that is certainly a skunk. Let's back away slowly," I suggested. "It's already dead," Harper said casually. "And how exactly have you come to that conclusion?" I asked. "Well, I poked it with a stick," she said.

You know, there are so many possible scenarios that come up in parenting that you can prepare for.Then there are the dead skunks tucked under the playground boulder. I am really very and extremely grateful that the skunk WAS dead, because the only thing I know about removing the Odor of Agitated Skunk I learned from a Curious George book, and I didn't actually have any tomato juice at home. Anyway, I didn't waste that teachable moment, and now all three kids know that there should be NO POKING OR PRODDING OR OTHERWISE INVESTIGATING ANIMALS, EITHER WILD OR DOMESTICATED, TO DISCERN POSSIBLE ALIVENESS EVER.

We took our yearly trip to Dewberry "Farm" last Friday and it was so pleasant because someone else organized it and I didn't have a bit of responsibility. As usual, my kids' favorite part seemed to be the park at the entrance, where they usually only get to play for around 10 minutes.

The husband is, at this very moment, running a Tough Mudder race.Do you know what this is? I think it's like steeplechase, only with mud and without horses. Unfortunately, it is drizzling and 40 degrees out. We are not there to cheer him on because all of the kids seem to have colds already, and standing out in the drizzly cold is the opposite of salubrious. I am very sad not to get any pictorial evidence of the husband leaping and climbing and running in the mud. If you know him at all, you will understand that this is not exactly his preferred habitat.

That will  be all. I am really hoping to get the book blog started this week. We've been reading some delightful books lately that I would love to share.

Ninja, Swan, and Fairy

That was an unplanned hiatus. There has been no lack of happenings. Let's just jump back in.

I started reading lessons with Helena. She surprised me by writing her name in various places, with all of the letters in the correct order, which I took as a sign of readiness. I was hoping to wait a little longer. Although the book I have used with the other two is really easy in the early lessons, which means it only takes about 10 minutes out of my day. She is pleased to "do her school" and I sometimes remind her that "her school" is everything she is doing, all the day long. This is what she looks like when she is winking:

 One day, I overheard Hudson reading books to Helena in the bathroom while she was taking care of Bathroom Business. It struck me as a very sweet and tender moment. I thought better of photographing it, but I took a picture in my mind. One thing not so sweet and tender about Bathroom Business at our house is that it can NOT be accomplished expediently. We will be walking out the door, usually already running a little behind, and one of them will announce Bathroom Intentions. I will say, in a patient and benevolent tone (naturally), "Well, HURRY UP," then a few moments will pass and the child in question will reappear, having carefully gathered at least half a dozen books to take to the bathroom, yet still not having taken care of Bathroom Business. At which point I will say something (in a patient and benevolent tone, naturally) like, "There is a time for reading, and a time to REFRAIN FROM READING! THIS IS THE LATTER!" Then the kid in question will scurry away and, without the entertainment factor, things go much faster.

I am truly sorry for things taking such a scatological turn, but writing that story down just reminded me that one time a couple of years ago (I am 100% certain it was raining out)  the husband saw Sasha acting suspiciously on the carpet. He boomed, "SASHA DON'T YOU DARE POOP ON THE CARPET!" Alas, she was undone by fear. Out came the poop. And then we were undone by laughter. It's pretty funny to see a figure of speech come to (smelly, disgusting) life like that.

Harper made a card for our friend Ethan a couple of weeks ago. We all love Olivier Dunrea's sweet illustrations. Harper chose Peedie for this card. While she was drawing it, I wondered aloud if Dunrea had started out as a child doing reproductions of illustrations he admired. She asked if he got paid to write and illustrate children's books. I assured her he was compensated, probably handsomely, for his work. "THAT," she said firmly, "is what I am going to do for money when I am a grown up." I would not be at all surprised.

We were at my parents' last week, and there was the putting on of the costumes, and the meeting of the cousins at the church festivities. I present to you L-R: Tinkerbell, a ninja, and Louis the swan from Trumpet of the Swan:

 
 
Harper had made her own Louis costume to wear for Dress as Your Favorite Character From a Book day at our co-op a couple of weeks ago. It involved a white trash bag and required her to hold her hand straight up by her head because her arm was the swan neck. I persuaded her to use her own head this time, and we traded the trash bag for a white t-shirt and some bandanas.And yes, Hudson's taekwondo uniform makes yet another appearance. He actually wanted to be Bilbo Baggins, but a velvet cutaway was more than I could commit to.

More to come. Sooner, hopefully.

In a mirror, darkly

Last Friday night, we were on our way home from meeting the Daddy for dinner (the Fred Astaire Dance Studio was giving free lessons on the town square. I learned the first 8 counts of the Rumba, then Hudson said he was ready for BED NOW, so we left) and the kids, as usual when we are in the car at night, began asking Deep Questions. The discussion went something like this:

Hudson: Does everyone in the whole world have their lights on right now? Wait, I know the answer..NO!
Me: Well, let's see. It's almost 3 a.m. in England, so most people there are probably asleep. In China it is daylight.
Hudson: And Japan! Is Japan our friend?
Me: Yes, Japan is our friend now.
Harper: Which countries are not our friend right now?
Me: Well, that is a complicated question. Because it changes. For example, Japan wasn't always our friend. The Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor and that's what pulled our country into WWII. The Japanese were allied with the Germans. Remember how we talked about Adolf Hitler?
Harper: BUT WHY would the ninjas be friends with that bad foolish man?
Hudson: SATAN!
Me: Well, I don't know all of the details, but generally wars start and continue because people want more power. Also, I don't know that there were any actual Ninjas fighting with the Japanese. We can look that up when we get home.
Harper: Well, I do not know why there are wars because bad people want more power. I do not understand that AT ALL.
Hudson: SATAN!
(we had a short conversation about Satan and why he exists. Because that is easy to do while driving a minivan. At night. At the end of a long day.)
Me: Well, as to why people want more power,  I noticed that you were the leader at the playground with our friends today.
Harper: (defensively) Well, yes. But that is only because I won when Izzy did "eenie, meanie, miney, mo."
Me: Nonetheless, you seemed to enjoy being in charge and telling everyone what to do and where to go.
Harper: (affronted) Well, yes, but I wasn't telling them to do BAD things.
Hudson: (cheerily) And I did not mind not being in charge. And we all said, "Yes, My Master," whenever she told us to do stuff like guard the castle. And we put the bad guys in jail when she said to!
Me: Hmm. So yes, that is pretty much what happens.

I say sin, you say sane.

We are studying European geography in Classical Conversations this cycle. We learned the major rivers a couple of weeks ago, and the river that runs through Paris was causing some pronunciation consternation. I said that I was fairly certain my four semesters of college French had assured me that Seine is pronounced 'Sin.' Another mother in the class said she was pretty sure it was "Sane," and the official cd agreed with her. My friend Janie told me it's probably one of those words we have our own American version of;  like, for example, how we say Rio Grand instead of Rrrrio Grahn-day. Though we do (well, most of us) say "tor-teeya" instead of "torTILLa," and "quesa-deeyah" instead of "quesa DILLa." So, we just get to DECIDE when we are going to change up the pronunciation of non-English words? I think I am going to keep calling it the River Sin, because Msr. Professor Whose Name I've Long Forgotten would want me to. On principle.

I've told you before, haven't I, that the country we call Hungary, is, in Hungarian, called Magyarorszag? Where in the HECK did we get Hungary out of Magyarorszag??

When I was thinking about this on the way home from our campus, I realized that Sin-Sane almost rhymes with Sinn-Fein (though I'm pretty sure that is pronounced SHin-Fain. I remember looking it up in college so I would sound smart if it came up in casual conversation. Which, to be honest, it didn't very often at Texas A&M)  and I realized I haven't heard much about Sinn-Fein in many, many years. Is there still a conflict in Ireland, or has everyone clinked their glasses of Guinness and decided to stop caring who is a Protestant and who is a Catholic? One time I was on the subway in London and this guy asked me where I was from, and I told him, and then he told me he was from Arlen. I asked where Arlen was, thinking maybe it was a suburb of London, or perhaps a small town in Belgium. "Yer dunno where ARLEN is???" he cried. And I am certain he told the story of The Very Stupid American Girl Who Never Studied European Geography to all of his friends later that night at his local.

Helena calls porcupines "pickle pines" and she says "puh-nano" for piano. She seems to enjoy mispronouncing words, then waiting for the other two to lose their MINDS trying to correct her. There's a Ninjago character named Lord Garmadon, and Helena, anytime she sees Hudson looking at his Ninjago book will say, " Is that Lord Garnagon?" and he and Harper both get extremely agitated.

I am generally annoyed with Ninjago and very much wish Lego had never succumbed to the siren song of merchandising of any sort. Though I am sure the billions of dollars they make from Star Wars/Chima/Hobbit/Ninjagoetc.. are very persuasive in the other direction.

A few weeks back, Helena "was just brushing" the yarn hair of her beloved Raggedy Ann, and this was the result:

 Now Harper and Hudson have taken to calling poor Raggedy Ann "Benjamin Franklin" presumably because of her vast expanse of forehead. Perhaps Helena was just helping Raggedy Ann to see that bangs (or, as my friends in Arlen would say, "a fringe") are almost always regrettable.

I will leave you with Ballerina Bat Girl who came to visit me one morning with her sidekick Simon the Bear.

The ringing bell

A few posts back, I mentioned Hudson's gymnastics coach Luba (or, as I call her in my head, Marta Karolyi) and I glibly noted that he would be doing a cartwheel within a couple of weeks based on sheer terror. Well, guess who did a cartwheel at gymnastics today? I'm not sure what she was saying to him in the process, but she looked fearsome. Then he finally did it and she trotted over to this bell, which I had not noticed before, and she rang it. The entire gym came to a screeching halt and Coach Luba announced that Hudson was going to perform his cartwheel. Then he did it like it was no big deal, everyone cheered, and Coach Luba lifted him up and swung him around and he looked to be equal parts mortified and exhilarated.

Then right after that Helena somehow stubbed her toe and it was bleeding the tiniest bit and she lost her mind. All of my kids have gone through this period during which they are UNDONE by the sight of their own blood and any modicum of pain. She may even be more dramatic than I remember the other two being. She throws her head back and her mouth opens super wide and she HOWLS. For  a very long time. You can imagine that Coach Luba was unimpressed by these histrionics. She pointed to a toddler class and said, "Look at the babies! The babies wonder and laugh at you why you act like the babies and crying!" Helena finally managed to stop howling and bounded into the foam pit, not like a baby. Then as soon as class was over and she was outside and away from Coach Luba's highly unsympathetic gaze, she began howling again. Then again when she had to get into the bathtub. Maybe I will ask Coach Luba if she wants to move into our guest room. I feel like she could also handle Harper and her ambivalence in memorizing her math facts.

On Wednesday for our co-op all of the kids were invited to wear costumes celebrating another country. I mentioned it on Tuesday afternoon thinking the kids wouldn't really care to. Of course they cared to. Hudson and Harper immediately said they were going to celebrate Japan by dressing up as ninjas. Which made me sigh. Then Helena said she would like to be a ballerina, so I said I guessed that sort of celebrated France, kind of. Anyway, I didn't get a picture. Which is probably for the best in case they ever want to go into politics.