White House Down

Last summer we bought a White House cookie kit at Trader Joe's. My plan was to spend a summer day reading many books about the history of the White House, and then maybe create lovely watercolor paintings of the White House, then maybe journal a little about the White House, and then, as the grande finale, the kids would work together in perfect harmony to build and frost and decorate their very own miniature cookie White House. Well, I did actually request a bunch of books from the library, and we did read those at some point over the summer. As for the portraits, and the journaling, well, that never happened. The kids would ask about the cookie house, but I kept finding reasons to say NOT TODAY. It seems like it was always someone's birthday, and we had a cake to eat, or some other holiday where everyone had gotten lots of candy. Every few weeks, one of the kids would see the box in the pantry and ask, "WHEN are we going to build our White House??" and the answer was always NOT TODAY. At some point, they all gave up. Last week, Hudson spied it in the very back of the cereal shelf and said, "I guess we might as well just throw away the White House since we are never EVER going to make it," and I surprised us all by saying, "TODAY! Let's make it today!"

It looked nothing like it did on the box. I deemed it White House: War of 1812 Edition. Harper added a gummy bear representing Dolly Madison running out with the portrait of George Washington, then Hudson added a roof-top hot tub on the portico, put a gummy bear reclining in it, and deemed it Donald Trump. Then it collapsed and we ate some of it. It tastes like cardboard, probably because it had an expiration date of September 2016.

My kids have this thing they do to each other when one of them is having a bad attitude. I can't really remember when it started--maybe 3? years ago. They sing this little song they made up, and the only words are, "LET'S BE HAPPY AND POSITIVE (ABOUT IT)!!" They will also sometimes shorten the admonition to "L.B.H.A.P.!" It is most often sung to the Hudson bear, and it NEVER EVER makes him happy or positive. It does not, however, create as much friction as the other Balm of Gilead sometimes employed. When things aren't going someone's way, for example, all of the leads from one's automatic pencil have just spilled out over the floor of the van, there is the Too Bad For You! chant. This is said in this sneery, nasally voice that my kids think is how teenagers talk. It is sometimes shortened to "T.B.F.Y.!" and sung. The tune is grating, and it never fails to trigger a reaction that makes all of us peevish.

To close, the yearly Narnia party is at school today. My two little soldiers, all suited up for the Last Battle. You probably didn't know Athena and Thor were in the Narnia books. It pretty much sums up what had been my mantra for most of this year: CLOSE ENOUGH.