Musings of a feverish nature

The good news is that the kids have been fever-free all day. The other good news is that the husband was well enough to head back to work this morning. The less wonderful news is that after a night's sleep that was so punctuated by chills, sweats, a bizarre inability to lie still, and dreams so psychedelic I googled "are hallucinations a sign of ibuprofen overdose?" at 3am, I am still running a fever over 101 (even with medicine, though I'm cutting back on the ibuprofen).

The morning went okay, although the kids were sprightly and noisy and actually hungry, which meant I could no longer toss a couple of saltines on a plate and call it breakfast. When I walked out of our bedroom this morning it seemed a little bit like those scenes in war movies just after the village is bombed and the smoke is beginning to clear and the surviving villagers are starting to stumble out to survey the aftermath and destruction. The laundry pile looked like Annapurna (though I am proud to say that after two loads today, it's more like a fourteener) and the general debris was utterly disheartening. At breakfast, one of the kids said, "You really need to clean this table!" It took tremendous self-control to answer with only a withering stare.

 I came up with an idea during my troubled night. I seem to have lost 4 entire pounds during the first 24 hours of this misery. Yes, I am sure it was just dehydration. But I began to wonder if perhaps the flu might want to change its image a bit, and I could be their highly paid spokesperson. Just like Jessica Simpson and Weight Watchers! I was thinking I could do the "shuffle, mumble, moan, HACK! sniffle, sniffle, whimper" bit, then I could slowly turn to look at the camera, and say (in a voice that is several octaves lower than normal. This morning, Helena noted, "Mommy! You sound like a daddy!"):

 Lose FOUR pounds in just 24 hours! I did it. So can you. FLU!

Granted my flannel pj pants, lumpy cardigan, and hair that hasn't been washed in 6 days might not be quite as appealing to the general weight loss market as Jennifer Hudson kicking up her heels in an Italian restaurant.  But who knows?? I did finally deal with the hair today. Although after washing it, I realized I was far too chilled to let it dry by itself (this takes several hours for my mop) and that my arms were far too weak to spend 30 minutes holding the hair dryer aloft. So I ended up drying it very quickly and without using any kind of controlled brushing and now I look a little like Angela Davis: The Early Years, only not nearly as cool.

One last distasteful detail. I discovered today that Helena sometimes puts her used tissues back in the tissue box when she is finished blowing her nose. Isn't that terrific?