If you had asked me before I had kids if kids should be allowed to play in the mud, I'm certain I would have answered in the affirmative. That was before I knew that mud stains are next to impossible to get out of clothes. If you had asked me before I had kids if I would care if my kids' clothes were covered in faded mud stains, I'm sure I would have told you that such things don't matter, and that I would never be so fastidious and vain as to care if my kids walked around in mud-stained clothes. As much as I love the idea of my kids frolicking and playing near a babbling brook (it was actually more of a ditch, but whatever) the truth is, Harper unintentionally stained a brand new pair of shorts, and Hudson muddied the only pair of shoes that fit him. Yes, they had fun. But I spent the whole time feeling clenched up at the time I was going to have to spend getting stuff clean and finding new shoes. And screeching at them to "stand BACK! Not IN the mud!!" I was THAT mother. The one in the commercial who makes her kid play in a plastic bubble so he doesn't get soiled. Part of me tries to remember that the shorts cost $8 and the shoes were 75% off and only cost $10. But if every time we go to the park it's going to cost me $18, is that worth the fun? I really just don't know. I want my kids to have self discipline but I don't want them to have an overburdening sense of responsibility at this point. I don't want them to think I am mad at them if they accidentally get mud on their shoes, but I do want them to realize that someone is having to clean up the mess.
We also have an issue at mealtimes because the dining area in our apartment is carpeted. That's right. Wall-to-wall and light beige. Now, while I agree that developmentally, it is all very good to let very young children drink out of regular cups and feed themselves independently, it is simply not good use of my time to get carrot juice and couscous out of the wall-to-wall light beige carpet. I do let Hudson drink out of a cup at lunch, but I hover and lurch if it looks as though it might spill. And we do have a drop cloth under his booster seat so that he can feed himself without too much consternation on my part. But again, if you had asked me before I had kids, I would have said something like, "The messier the better!! How else will they learn??" It's funny how cavalier you can be when you've never picked grains of couscous out of wall-to-wall light beige carpet. I also tend to take their clothes off if they are eating something that stains (red bell peppers and raspberries are impressively permanent) and Harper was still using a bib up until around a month ago.
So, there you have it. I'm open to shock and dismay, stain removal tips, and admonishment to just loosen up. I am also aware that the goal is kids with unstained character (well, perhaps stained and washed clean is a more theologically accurate metaphor) and I certainly want to have my focus on that and not silly distractions like a few brownish-white polkadots on a pair of bright green shorts.
6 comments:
Alas, my second child is one perpetual stain. Why this is so, I do not know, but she cannot eat, play, sit, or walk without getting stained. I use Shout, sometimes sending clothes through the wash 4-5 times. (Currently, a bright orange shirt with a butterfly is on its 4th wash, but the "washable" blue paint she squirted out of its bottle when we were visiting friends and while my back was turned is not budging.)
I've simply stopped trying, although my children would probably say they've heard more than enough of my exasperated sighs. Although I get terribly frustrated with ruined clothes and other large, items with stainable material (and I'd just as soon not mention the living room couch), I try to remind myself it's just stuff. Even though I have THAT mother tendencies.
You should dress them in clothes that are brown or black. I'm sure they have tons of little girls clothes in those two colors. Or just let then run naked, although that probably is not appropriate at the park.
I've thought about this post a lot since I first read it. It took me a while to formulate my response. Here's what I've decided to say about this post.
I was one of those mothers. I hated for my sons and daughter to get dirty. I sent them to Mother's Day Out in Sun. type clothes so they would be admired and I could be proud. I wouldn't let my kids drink out of anything but sippy cups for fear my floors might get sticky. I was so afraid of messes!
HOWEVER, now that my kids are older (12,10,8,6) I yearn for those messes! I want my kids to want to play in the mud or spend an afternoon w/ me at the park playing in the sand or want to drink from a big person glass instead of a sippy glass. I miss them trying to grow up and explore. Now our time is taking up with games, homework, lessons and the like.
I'm still getting out stains, but it's stains from slidding into homeplate, not slidding down the slide into my waiting arms. We still have spills at the table, but it's usually from eating too fast trying to make it to the next activity and not b/c someone was learning how to feed themselves.
Life goes by too quickly. Don't get stuck thinking that the phase of life you're in will be forever. It won't and one day, you'll miss it.
Oh, and I think you should get a dog to help clean up under the table. That's always worked for us! : )
I like Robin's suggestions--all of them. I will say that the spray-on Dreft stain remover works very well.
With 2 boys, I have surrendered to the stain. I do believe that nurture has more impact than nature, but no matter how many times I tell Asher to use a napkin, the sleeve is always his preference. So I keep teaching and I keep plenty of spray-on Dreft stain remover on hand.
I feel like maybe you wrote this just for me. And all I can say is Amen!
Time is precious, and I'd rather spend it playing than cleaning up. So onward with the bibs and sippy cups!
Have you tried soaking the clothes in oxi clean (the granules w/ water)? Try soaking the item for about a week. It's worked for me on some pretty nice stains. Oh, and I spray the spot with the liquid oxi clean first.
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