Have it your way

About a month ago Harper expressed, for the first time, a clothing preference. I had gotten a shirt out of the closet and was kneeling down to pull it over her head and she said, " I don't WANT to wear that one." Well, why not? I asked. "It has poo-poo on it," she said, with apprehension. This is not a completely unrealistic possibility around here. But I knew I had just washed this shirt. What she meant was that she did not like it because it was brown. I did, out of respect, do a cursory examination, found it excrement-free and she then put it on. I'm actually fine if she decides she wants to have more input when it comes to what she wears but it hasn't come up again. I've heard from several moms more experienced than I that this is one of those areas that it's wise to give some latitude. We'll set parameters of cost and modesty if need be, but the rest is up to her when she decides she cares.

Hm, you're likely saying to yourself, Patti usually gives these little anecdotes because she wants to Present Some Sort of Important Idea. The mystery is gone, I've been made. Here's the rub. We were visiting my mother-in-law a few weeks ago and, over Scrabble, she tells us that her church, a big one in Dallas, had, at the end of the year, found itself with $100,000 beyond its normal budget. That's great! said the husband and I, more money for the widows and orphans. Let's see, double word score on 'helix'. She furrows her brow and says, "Well, but we already have a large part of our budget for that." And we, incredulous, said something like, "And it was enough to feed ALL of the widows and orphans in the entire WORLD? What will true religion DO now that the job is done??" So it turns out that they used the $100,000 extra to buy a new air conditioner and add on to the children's wing. And of course we aren't so unreasonable to suggest that sweating children packed in tight is a good idea in Texas. But maybe you see our point, even if we need to be much more gracious in our presentation. I don't want to find fault when I gaze at the Church. I really, really don't. I want us to be all shiny. Maybe from sweat because the air conditioner doesn't work as well as it should, I don't know. But here's how the tables turn on me. The church we've been going to for a few months now is clearly not about the building. And even in January it tends to get kind of sweaty because they likely have never spent any money on air conditioning. And there hasn't been a Sunday yet that we haven't been reminded of people who lack and what this church is doing right now, with most of its resources (which aren't much) to do something to aid the suffering and thirsty literally outside the door AND on other continents. And yet. It is a struggle for me to worship there because the music is so loud. That's right. It is so loud that I really needed an expletive in front of loud so that you'll see how loud it is. We want Harper and Hudson to worship with us but I literally fear for their auditory health. Yesterday I took Hudson and walked all around, trying to find a place that might muffle things. I ended up outside. Which defeats the purpose of corporate worship. When I told Harper we were going to church she said, "Will you hold me and cover my ears?" And this kid really loves music. So I'm trying to decide if this is my brown shirt. I was actually trying to think of a legitimate reason why the music might NEED to be loud and then your brain sort of gets into this quagmire of What Is Worship Anyway? and clearly God doesn't need the amplification because he can hear us just fine even when we aren't speaking. So is it deafening to be (my pet word lately) Relevant? So that the Kids will think it's cool and forget it's church? I think this is the kind of stuff that nudges people towards the Catholic and Orthodox churches. It's like going to a franchise. You go into the Subway restaurant in Port Neches or Houston or even Vienna and you know what you're going to get. There's someone making sure the employees are putting the bread in the little oven each morning and not deciding that, you know, I don't really FEEL like baking up the Subway bread today, how about I hop across the street to the Stop-n-Go and pick up a couple of loaves of Wonder Bread. And there are Protestant churches who are pretty smug about this as well. People clump together and label themselves because it really is efficient. I ran into an old high school acquaintance at a wedding a few months back who gave an audible sigh of relief when I told him the Presbyterian church we were going to then was a PCA church. It's like there are suddenly lots of conversations that don't need to happen because we can just pat ourselves on the back and Agree on The Creeds and be thankful that we have won the Election, as it were. But what if that IS right to ensure that the theology doesn't wobble off somewhere dangerous and suddenly it isn't just about music preferences but it really is essential to the integrity of the gospel? What if there really IS poo-poo on the shirt? Gee whiz, kids. Is anyone even still reading this??